Cowardly Husband Offers Up His Wife To Dangerous Escaped Convict

It’s a sad truth that there are some spouses out there who would gladly sacrifice their partner to save themselves when the chips are down. We see this happen all the time when married people are being charged with crimes. Suddenly, their adoring spouse is singing like a canary in court! And when it comes to life and death situations, there are some folks who know they just need to outrun their spouse, not the bear. In this fictional joke, an escaped convict holds a married couple hostage in their home. The cowardly husband’s expecting his wife to “take one for the team,” but he’s in for a big surprise!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants to make love, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

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