Dad Walks Into Son’s Room And Finds Letter

Anyone who has had the “pleasure” of raising teenagers knows how much stress these transitioning adults can cause a parent. On top of worrying about the dozens of things you worried about when they were younger, you now have to deal with mood swings, attitude, influential friends, and their taste in terrible ear-grating music to top it off. But in the end, as they start to come out of their hormonal hurricane phase, you realize that it was all worth it —mainly because you look forward to seeing them go through it with their own teenager someday! In the following joke, a dad is passing by his son’s bedroom, and something isn’t quite right.

The dad is astonished to see that his son’s bed is neatly made, everything on the floor is picked up, and the room is actually in pretty good shape. Not normal. He then sees an envelope, propped up neatly on his son’s pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.” With a bad feeling in his gut, he opens his son’s letter and reads it with trembling hands…

“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion, Dad.

She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

-Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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