Dad Walks into Son’s Room

If you’ve had the joy of raising teenagers, you know how temperamental they can be, but also how creative they can be when they’re trying to slither out of a sticky situation. When I was a teenager, there was nothing I dreaded worse than report card day. Though I could have performed better, I typically didn’t apply myself as I should have and consistently got lower than the required B in my household. What that meant was that I’d be grounded until the next report cards came out. And there’s nothing worse for a teenager than to be cut off from his or her friends and social life. Like the youngster in the joke below, I would have done anything to get out of facing my parents on report card day. Enjoy this hilarious joke!

The dad is astonished to see that his son’s bed is neatly made, everything on the floor is picked up, and the room is actually in pretty good shape. Not normal. He then sees an envelope, propped up neatly on his son’s pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.” With a bad feeling in his gut, he opens his son’s letter and reads it with trembling hands…

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion, Dad.

She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

-Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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