How to Get Hired at Walmart by Answering One Question

When I was a kid growing up in the mountains in Arkansas, we had the best luck ever when Walmart came to our town. Back then, Walmart was still growing and since it was based in Arkansas, some of its early stores were in small rural areas in Arkansas. Believe it or not, getting a job at Walmart was a big deal. People flocked to apply to the store, and the ones who were hired worked there for decades, all the way until retirement. It was a good job to have in that small town and people who worked there had a bit of prestige to them. And the general manager had one of the best jobs in the state, you’d think by how people treated him. Now, however, it’s become a bit of a standing joke that if someone works at Walmart, they must not be able to get a job anywhere else. The fact is, these folks work hard. But it’s fun to be able to laugh at oneself, and the joke below is a great Walmart joke.

A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you know of?’

The first man replied, ‘A THOUGHT.’ It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.’

‘That’s very good!’ replied the interviewer. ‘And, now you sir?’, he asked the second man.

‘Hmmm…let me see ‘A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.’

‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliche for speed.’ He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall, there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. ‘Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of’.

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light,’ he said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, ‘After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.’

‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

‘Oh sure’, said BUBBA. ‘You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already pooped my pants.’

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!

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