Husband Tells Doctor That His Newborn Daughter Can’t Possibly Be His

Now, I’m not proud to admit this, but a few years ago, my wife and I started watching Maury Povich. And anyone familiar with his talk show knows that he made his career doing paternity tests. Now, most of the time, I think the person challenging their paternity to a baby is proven to indeed be the father. However, we always would wait for that deliciously shocking moment when he would say, “You are NOT the father!” While the more civilized part of myself feels absolutely ashamed for taking pleasure in such deeply personal family drama, another part can’t help but be drawn to it. In this fictional joke, a man visits his doctor shortly after his daughter was born, complaining that there was no way he could be the child’s father.

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. ‘Doctor,’ the man said, ‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine!!’

‘Nonsense,’ the doctor said. ‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’

‘It isn’t possible,’ the man insisted. ‘This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.’

‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? ‘

The man seemed a bit ashamed. ‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.’

‘Well, there you have it!’ The doctor said confidently.

‘It’s rust.’

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