Irish Daughter Visits Her Parents After Five Long Years

There’s something about Irish culture that just intrigues us. These folks know a thing or two about hard times, having endured wars, famous, diseases, and all manners of hardship that many in the world’s never had to face. Throughout all of this, they’ve never lost that infectious sense of fun and humor that makes the Irish some of the most entertaining folks to have at a party. The Irish are known for their drinking, fighting, and storytelling, and while that’s not necessarily true for every person from Ireland, their accents can make just about anything sound like a good story. In this fictional tale, an Irish girl returns home after being away for five years.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.

Upon her return, her elderly father cursed her.

“Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Sniff, sniff… Dad… I became a prost!tute…”

“Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this family.”

“OK, Dad — as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million.”

“For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club… (takes a breath)… and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years’ Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and…”

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” says dad.

Girl, crying again, “Sniff, sniff….a prost!tute dad! Sniff, sniff.

“Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.

Come here and give yer old man a hug.”

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