Mr. Onestone Really Hated His Name

Certain names in the world really make you feel sorry for folks. For example, the name Adolf may never be popular again. And folks with the same names as celebrities or popular characters really get sick of jokes and comparisons. Some folks even go as far as changing their names to escape their torment. Kids have it the worst. Those with unfortunate names often are the victims of some pretty cruel nicknames, heck sometimes they even make up songs! However, our names don’t have to define us. Then again, in the case of the man in this fictional joke, it sort of did.

There once was a guy whose given name was “Onestone”, so named because he had only one test!cle.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone:

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said.

“If anyone calls me one stone again I will kill them!”

The word got around and nobody called him that anymore.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said.

“Good morning, Onestone…”

He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said,

“Good to see you, Onestone.”

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night but, Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!

Moral of this story?

You can’t kill two birds with one stone!

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