When Customer Holds up the Express Lane with Cart Full of Items, the Cashier Gets Revenge

This is the worst thing ever: rushing into the store to get one item and heading up to the express checkout only to find yourself in line behind someone with a buggy full of stuff. When I go shopping, I typically have a list and am in and out quickly. Often, I don’t even bother getting a shopping cart and usually don’t even take in my purse. I just grab a debit card and my keys and head into the store. Usually, I have no trouble getting out quickly with my purchases, but occasionally there’s some jerk who is blatantly ignoring the polite signs that expressly explain that this is a line for “10 items or less.” It’s maddening. In the joke below, a cashier calls someone out on it, and we rarely see this happen. A great story, even if it didn’t really happen! It sounds totally believable.

This woman whose cart was overflowing almost runs me over to get in front of me at the 10 items line. The woman starts to unload her cart onto the checkout stand and the cashier says, ‘Which ten items would you like, ma’am?” The woman stops and says, “What?” The cashier responds in a calm, patient tone, “This is a ten items or less express line.”

While speaking she holds up both hands showing all ten fingers. Then she pointed to the sign above the lane which reads “Ten Items or Less” in both English and Spanish. The woman gets all red in the face and says, “I want all of this!”

The cashier, “Ma’am, I’m sorry. As I said, this is a ten items or less line, please choose the ten items you’d like to purchase today.” The woman at this point lets out this noise that sounds like someone poked one of those screaming goats and shoved her still overflowing cart as hard as she could. It almost hit this little old man sitting on a bench. Then she gave all of us who were laughing at her the finger, said “F*** you!” and stormed out.

I purchased my items and tipped the cashier a $20 for the best improv comedy moment I’d seen in years.

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